I can’t imagine being interested in a hobby forever. There are many activities I enjoy doing, but typically one hobby stands above the rest. Unfortunately, that singular hobby can keep my attention for so long. To me, this is obviously a part of human nature, and not a personal fault. Even if it weren’t apart of human nature, its not bad to flow from hobby to hobby. When I think about the people I used to play Magic: The Gathering with and how they had an encyclopedic knowledge of cards, I couldn’t imagine knowing that much about the game. Simply, I didn’t want to. When someone would suggest putting a card in a deck, I would often have no clue what they were talking about only for them to recite what the card does from memory. There are over 30,000 unique Magic: The Gathering cards in the game. Years of experience with the game certainly exposed them to many of these cards, but for the life of me I couldn’t imagine caring that much to remember such information.
the personal fault lies with not getting deep enough into a hobby. I get bored eventually. Thinking back on the hobbies and obsessions I’ve had in the past, I only have a surface level knowledge of them. I know enough to hold a conversation, but not enough to dictate one. There is still room to learn, and I like it that way.
Most recently, starting in May 2024 I picked up my camera again. Photography has been a hobby of mine for nearly half my life, but as life got in the way the camera was put away. It has led to me getting out of the house more frequently, learning to develop negatives, and make new friends. In April 2025 I became involved with a local photo organization. While getting more involved with them, I can see my interest in that organization slipping. Yet, I’m hopeful that with a little less micromanagement from the top that will change.
Prior to photography, the game of Go was all I could think about. There was a transition period between the two hobbies. I had been playing Go since the summer of 2021, and quickly got involved in running the Go club. Go occupied a central place in my mind. I participated in a few tournaments and the 2024 US Go Congress. With the help of other members of my club, we even hosted the first tournament in my city. Even after five years, these are all accomplishments I’ll always be proud of.
Go is a unique case in my hobby history as its the only one I can pin-point the exact moment my interest piqued and began to decline. Third game of the 2024 US Open. I had been in a huge fight throughout the match and during a ko fight I failed to kill the important group and instead went to save two stones. After a few more moves from my opponent and myself, I realized the game had been lost. I threw two stones on the board and resigned, head in my hands. A foolish mistake, one I will never forget. My opponent played well, but I had worn myself out at that point. Later when reviewing with AI, I had thrown a huge lead but the game would still be even. There was a chance to still win, but I was so physically exhausted I couldn’t play any longer.
Since then my interested declined rapidly. I stopped studying and reviewing my matches. It became easier to skip the Go club. My presence in Go communities became non existent. Playing online was out of the question. I still played from time to time, but my desire and motivation to improve was diminished. Its possible I had a brief identity crisis after the US Go Congress. To many people, Go was my thing. Because it was. Around this time I was getting back into photography. The overlap between both hobbies was perfect timing. I had the chance to put the energy I spent on improving at Go into improving at photography.
As mentioned previously, I used to frequently play Magic: The Gathering. Fridays for Commander and Sundays for Pauper. I can trace my interest in Magic back to childhood when my brother played in the mid-2000s. At the time it was too challenging for me to understand key concepts like mana, power, and toughness. Around 2018 I re-discovered Magic and started playing with some trial decks from a local game store in Springfield, MO. It would really take off after college in 2019 when I started working at a local game store in St. Louis. I dove head first and loved every moment of the game. I frequently watched game-play and deck tech videos. I always wanted to make a new deck from the packs I was cracking open. The weeks before a new set released felt like forever. I wasn’t particularly good at the game, but I loved the interactions on and off the board.
When the COVID-19 pandemic hit my play group transitioned to online play. It wasn’t perfect, but it worked. As pandemic era restrictions eased, we went back into our local game store and played at a safe distance. Magic began to change around this time. The invention of Universes Beyond quickly left a bad taste in my mouth. I didn’t like the idea of Rick Grimes and Godzilla fighting for...I’m not so sure. These products were easy enough to avoid using, but they crept in from limited runs to now dominating standard rotations. Even though I had been playing for a short few years, the game had gone in a direction I didn’t like. Its cliché for Magic players to decry the death of the game, but the game had died, at least on a personal level. In September 2021 I left my job at the board game store for an office job. While I made token efforts to attending Friday Night Magic, buy the end of the workweek I wanted nothing more than to relax at home.
Funnily enough, I wonder if looking backwards towards my childhood trying to grasp the rules of Magic: The Gathering inspired me to look more into playing Go. I had reached out to the Go club just before the COVID-19 pandemic to see if I could learn from them. Unfortunately they met on Tuesday evenings when I usually had work. The majority of my hobbies I picked up during my 20s were inspired by interests during childhood. I first learned about Go in the late 2000s through watching Hikaru no Go as a kid. I had a small Go set, but had no one to teach me the rules. Reading the short manual included was out of the question, of course.
What changed in my attitude towards hobbies? Many kids pick up Go with the help of an adult and play well into adulthood. Others get good at an instrument and go on to make a living off their talents. I think its time. I have less free time to dedicate towards these hobbies as an adult. There’s urgency in learning and improving. Goals like reaching 10kyu in Go or going undefeated at Sunday Pauper were the most important thing to me. As a child, I had more time than I knew what to do with. This often led to boredom. Not just a sense of nothingness, but losing interest in the things I liked as a child. Video games were a key part of my life back then, yet I rarely finished a game. When I got stuck, I would give up or start a new save to replay the parts I already knew. The roots of my condition stretches all the way back. My aversion to the profit motive may have something to do with it. I’ve never wanted to monetize any of my hobbies. It would be nice to sell prints of my photography, however if I focused on what sells I may ignore subjects I want to photograph. My time is precious and I should treat it as such.
Now, before Magic: The Gathering I had a particular obsession with marijuana. It’s hard to describe smoking pot as a hobby, but with the frequency I was smoking it might as well have been. Sure, there were people who smoked more weed than me. I shared this hobby with others, but I enjoyed it differently than they did. At first smoking pot was fun, but eventually it became scary. During the depths of depression marijuana gave me the ability to numb the pain. I’ve heard lots of people say they’ve turned to smoking pot as a method of self-medication. That makes it sound good for you, right? I wish I knew what that was like. The fear it induced wasn’t enough to make me quit smoking. It became such an important part of my life I would spend my last ten dollars on a gram. I never had much money during college, but the little money I had was spent on fast food and pot. Eventually it became an addiction. Smoking pot was the closest thing I had to a hobby. For nearly five years I prioritized getting high over everything else.
I look back on that phase in my life with shame. Time and money wasted. If I had focused that energy on literally anything else it would have been better. But its so easy to say that now. At the time, I needed to be high to cope with life. I must acknowledge that my situation (heartbreak, disillusion, and social isolation) was not nearly as bad as others, but it’s all relative isn’t it?
Remembering any hobbies before college gets a bit fuzzy. It’s not that I don’t remember the things I was interested in, but they were far more ephemeral than anything during and after college. I always loved technology and had an interest in computers. I loved to tinker. But while friends focused on learning to program, I focused on downloading software. It was a clear dichotomy; others enjoyed making things and I enjoyed consuming things. Something true to this day. I dreamed of being a writer, but only gave the effort to dream rather than write. Attempts at short stories were bland. I remember enjoying writing research papers, something I would focus on greatly in college. Even that would be a short lived interest.
So where here does that put me now with hobbies? Because time is a flat circle, I’ve picked up my interests in computers again. Even with my limited time after my 9-5, I’ve made small accomplishments in learning Python, starting a home network, creating a website, operating a server, and installing Linux. The biggest accomplishment is creating a website – this website. I first started with HTML in grade school and dreamed of having a website. I signed up for so many long forgotten precursors to Squarespace because I wanted to be on the internet. And now I am.
I have so much to learn and so little time to dedicate to it. This personal fault, not diving head first into a hobby, isn’t a fault at all. I enjoy dipping my toes as far into the water as I want. The few times I’ve done a cannonball into the deep end has left me gasping for air. Creating distance between the things I want to dedicate my time to is what lets me enjoy the hobbies I have. Spending all my time on one of them is a waste of time when there’s so much to enjoy in this life.
oncoldcliff, 6.1.26
